Hello, This is a new blog from me, this blog is ALL about cosplay and my fangirl material.
Do you like my background and backsong?
Isn't it beautiful?
Well, Ok, I would like to explain right now, what had happened to me and what would I do from now on. Whether it is important for you to read, or not, you decide. For me, it helps me to lighten my feeling by writing this.
I know, most of you had known what had happened and I know it wouldn't be wise to keep on talking about this stuff, but this will be the last time I talk about this, I swear. I will not bother to write about this anymore. This is going to be the last time.
Actually, I felt down few days ago that I wanted to quit it. No cosplay, no sosmed, no drama~! But I remember now, after talking with many people. I remember why I am cosplaying. I remember that I cosplay because I love the characters, I love the anime and game and manga, and I love photography.
Like some people had written about me, I am not pretty. I am not even good looking. My cosplays are simple and I always have this unnatural expression on my face. Of course the way they said that isn't as nice as what I wrote just now. They simply called me ugly and that I don't deserve anything I have right now.
Those people said that I am deceiving people by wearing thick make up and photoshop my photos. Here I just want to explain, though they won't listen, I just have to explain, that I NEVER mentioned that I didn't wear make up or photoshop my face. I kept on telling people, I wear make up and use photoshop. I didn't hide my real face. I posted my face with no make up, no photoshop... I never think that I am better looking than anybody. I just want to make it clear that I didn't plan to deceive anyone. That's just what cosplay is. Every cosplayer needs make up and almost every photo needs photoshop.
When this happened, I realized that I will never be able to please anyone. That I was being too naive, thinking that if I am being nice to people, they will be nice to me too.
I will not change, I will still try to be nice, because it makes me able to sleep at night, knowing I didn't do anything 'wrong' or 'evil'.
I will only try to accept the fact that no matter how hard I tried, humans are human. I could only try not to be down and drowned.
For everyone that had listened to what I said, thank you for lending me your ears.
For everyone that had patted my backs, thank you for lending me your strength.
For everyone that had been angry for me, thank you for defending me.
For everyone that had been there, saying nothing, doing nothing, thank you for being there.
For everyone that had stabbed me, talked bad about me, judged me, thank you for opening my eyes that there would always people like you in this world.
Ah, by the way, this is random but... for the Valentine Fansign Event, I did the costest today and yeah... I will still make the FS for you who had asked for it :)